$MOM Update: we’re hotter than your actual Mom

What’s poppin’, $MOM lovers? Your favorite degenerate here with another banger update that’ll make you wanna call your therapist (or buy them a Lambo, your choice).

Buckle up, buttercups, ’cause we’re taking this rocket ship out of the basement

1. DEX update dropped harder than bass at a rave. We’re talking smoother than your pickup lines at 2 AM.

2. 50k MC, baby! We’ve got more bounce-back than a rubber band on steroids.

3. Our X is blowing up and our Telegram community’s growing faster than my debt after a night in Vegas.

4. New website’s up, and it’s sexier than your sister’s Instagram.

We’ve got more momentum than a caffeinated hamster on a wheel, and the vibe in our chat? It’s like Woodstock, but with less hippies and more memes.

Remember, I’m just a smooth-brained ape with a keyboard, not your financial guru. Don’t bet the farm, your kidney, or your firstborn on this. But if you want to join a community that’s part support group, part meme factory, and 100% certified fresh insanity, come hang with us.

To the moon, to Mars, or to the unemployment line – wherever we’re going, we’re going there together! LFG! 🚀🌙🍻

P.S. If my mom asks, tell her I’ve got a real job now. She doesn’t need to know I’m larping as a crypto influencer.

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